There seems to be some disharmony between me and the natural world lately. Clearly, I have not bought enough carbon credits and nature is pissed off. It chose a maple tree to serve as its spokesman to let me know about its feelings, and dripped sap all over my favorite shirt. I mean "dripped" literally - I did not in any way come in contact with this tree - and I mean "all over" literally - I was simply walking past, talking on the phone with my girlfriend when several large globs of sap landed on my shoulder and slid down the shirt. A coworker's Tide pen and multiple cycles through a washer/dryer have since been powerless to even make a dent in removing the stains left by those viscous blobs.
I think that maple tree knew how important that shirt was to me. I bought it this summer so I'd have something nice to wear for my dad's wedding. It was a hidden gem at Goodwill; sizes are only roughly dilineated at Goodwill, but this shirt miraculously fit perfectly. I didn't know enough about fashion to know what material the shirt was made from, only that it was made out of better material than any of my other dress shirts, and was gloriously comfortable as a result.
But then the tree hurled its sap at me with the timing and accuracy of a ninja and his throwing star.
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